but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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