i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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