I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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