the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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