What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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