i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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