cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize