This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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