im gay
i know
yea but for you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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