i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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