i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize