Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
this boner is exhausting
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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