Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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