hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize