Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize