She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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