Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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