big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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