Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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