even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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