one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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