Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize