is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
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And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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