He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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