My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize