I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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