If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
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I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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