i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Text me some of your sweat
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