every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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