Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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