I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize