You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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