dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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