If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize