You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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