I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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