I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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