Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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