guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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