Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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