this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
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Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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