I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize