i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
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You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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