school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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