i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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