Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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