i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize