He had one of those small greek statue penises
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
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