I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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