Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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