take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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