it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
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Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
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I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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